May 30, 2010

4. How to


When to tell :

1. Do : Break the news when you can go your separate ways, like the end of the school day on Friday. ( Avoid situations where you'd be forced to spend time together, like on a car ride-so awkward ! )

2. Don't : Make excuses to drag it out. ("I don't want to ruin his birthday.") Stalling will just allow more time for your unhappiness to build, so it will get even harder to end on good terms.

Where to do it :

1. Do : Choose a semi-private place, like the school parking lot or his living room-it spares him the embarrassment of making a scene (or crying) in front of, say, a random waitress at the diner.

2. Don't : Pick a totally private place (like his bedroom) where you could possibly be talked into one last kiss or hookup-it will just prolong the pain and cause confusion.

What to say :

1. Do : Be gentle but straight: "This isn't easy for me to say-and I don't think I'll ever stop caring for you-but I need some space right now." Keep it short (as if ripping off a plaster).

2. Don't : Blame him ("You never call when you say you will"), even if he asks why. This is about you and what you need-anything you say about him will just hurt his feelings more.

NEVER !!! :

  • Break up just to make up !
  • Don't dump your guy just to see if he comes running back.
  • An on-again, off-again cycle undermines your relationship rather than making it stronger.

Adapted : Seventeen magazine.

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