January 10, 2011

After so long,

I grew up in PJ. And I live my own way. previously I always listened to what people might say and talk about me. As day goes by, I realized it time for me to be matured. Adult. And more organized than who I am previously.

Everybody is entering their university @ degree @ bachelor life. Not like me. But Alhamdulillah, I have a diploma. The least right. So, I am very thankful for the qualification that Allah gave me. It’s a thing to be proud of !

I have made my decision not to further my study. And I decided to get married earlier. I know that it is not gonna be easy for my father, to accept the fact that his daughter is serious to get married.

I’m happy when I’m with him. So happy till I don’t have any problem come across my mind and even heart. And it is joyful to actually not having commitment and problems.

I seek for my own job. I went for an interview and test assessment without telling anyone about it except my mom. At first I really don’t think that I’m through for the next interview session. But then I received a phone call telling me that I have been shortlisted. And who the hell in this world is not happy about it, right.

So, I went for the 3rd interview. And they asked me to wait till 2 weeks. But after 3 days, I have been accepted to legally working in that company. But I starts with contract basis.

I go through all the suffer. I work to earn money just to settle all my debts. All. But somehow, every end of month, the commitment that I have for my family is so full. Until, the feeling that I have now is pressure. And while I’m writing this blog, I am crying. I break down and cry. That is my hobby. I am never strong. I am never brilliant. I am never correct. To be true and justify is definitely not me.

For me, suffer is the best word now. People might think that I’m rich and can afford stuff. But I actually don’t. I still have to depends on my parents to send and fetch me to work. And I still have to depends on them to have a roof to stay under. And to have a bed to sleep at.

But people, as far as I’m concerned, my life is my way. None of my problem is yours and none of yours is mine. So, to my dad who always discourage me to work, this is for you. To my colleagues who hates me because I’m the youngest there and the one with the lowest qualification, this is also for you.

I really live my life, my own way. Really do. You disturb me, I won’t bite cause I kill people with my behavior and words. With my way of treating people.

That’s me. Someone you can never change.

1 comment:

  1. we're 22years old now..
    it's time to decide for yourself..
    you shud be prouf of yourself..
    your determination!
    i envy you..
    hope things will work the way u want it to be..
    esp marrying him that u loved soooo much!
    go nab!
    never give up and always be urself!